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Breathing

A poem by TheAmeliaBurns 

 

I suppose a part of me thought he was the one

Thought that he would be the one to save me from the drowning of the other one

Because when have I ever not been gasping for air

Desperately holding on to the feeling of rushed blood, flushed cheeks & relief

 

Could it be that every relationship I’ve ever had was just a flotation

To pull me back up from the last one to push my head under

Just close enough, for me to pull myself up

But too heavy for me to get a grip for support

 

Dragging me to calmer waters until I finally felt like I could breathe again

Only to have you sink from under my grip

To have water fill my lungs again

Tears stinging my eyes while saving my best lies

 

I’ll tell you, that salt water does that sometimes

And who needs support when you have enough strength to keep yourself alive

 

I’ll swim tirelessly through each current

Pretending like I am my very own submarine

Made of concrete and glass

A force that no one dare try to break

 

Pass me by and talk of the girl

They admire and say, “she takes peoples breathe away”

But always stay just far enough for the next current to pull me under

They can’t take their eyes off, enthralled by each tumble

 

They get amusement off watching me swim myself to the top

And they admire that I am so viscously breathless

And I’ll pretend like I had intended to fear breathing

Like I had faked all those drowning’s just to let you see me rise

 

I’ll promise that I didn’t need him

And the truth is, that I don’t need him

 

But I suppose,

a part of me thought he was “the one.”

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